Friday, October 2, 2009

A few things I'd like to mention


To my brother Chris who turned 30 today!

He probably won't read this so no need to make it anymore personal than it already is:p

OMG makes me realize I'll be 30 in a little over 3 years!

That scares the f*&k out of me right there!

So anyways, the next note worth mentioning is:

I've been officially single, moved out, and over with it for 1 year today.
It doesn't really bother me though. I was in back to back to back 3 year relationships and now I'm just enjoying the single life. I do miss having someone. I miss being able to connect, cook for, and love someone, and spooning with someone! I miss spooning an awful lot. But I'll live. I've lived through the last year. I can live forever single if that's whats in the cards for me.

It just makes me think. Thinking is what I "try" to do best. But I think about if I will be alone forever. Do I want to be alone forever? Am I actually looking for anything? What am I looking for? And if it fell out of the sky and landed smack dab on my head would I even realize? I know 1 thing. I absolutely refuse to settle anymore. That's what I've done my whole life so far. I've never reached out and went after anything I wanted. I just let stuff fall into my lap and I've never truly been happy in doing so. So, unless I can change how I've done things all along, how I've been programmed I guess I will be alone...

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