Saturday, August 30, 2008

Bad Quotes from Famous People

These appear to have been copied from a magazine article or other publication. I should stress, however, that because these were found on the Internet, their veracity is dubious.

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
    Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
    Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
    The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?"
    Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
    Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
    Bill Gates, 1981 apocryphal

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
    Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
    David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."
    A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
    H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper."
    Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
    Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
    Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
    Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."
    Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we' ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
    Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."
    1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.

"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training."
    Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy."
    Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
    Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
    Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
    Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".
    Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon".
    Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon- Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Continued.. More to ponder...

*If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?

*Can a blind man see his future?

*Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full

*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

*Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

*Can you write in pencil on an eraser?

*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

*Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?

*Can you blow a balloon up under water?

*Can crop circles be square?

*How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?

*Why are there black lines on a basketball?

*Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?

*Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?

*If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st - January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?

*If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?

*Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

*When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?

*If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say "30 minutes" then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you?

*Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?

*When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?

*Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?

*Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?

*Do you ever notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?

*Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?

*Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?

*Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?

*If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?

*Why do we have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put pasta into the water?

*If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?

*Why are blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren't red and green the traditional colors?

*Why do police officers wear tight clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them slower when chasing someone?

*If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?

*Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

*Why do birds bob their heads when they walk?

*Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?

*How come wine and hard liquor doesn't come in cans, but beer does?

*When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

*If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite won’t eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?

*Why do they call him a Skipper when he just stands there?

*If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?

*Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?

*How come, in the Mini Wheat’s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat’s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?

*Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn’t people aim for their head or crotch?

*If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Even more to ponder...

*What happens if you're scared half to death twice?

*Why is it when you forget you can remember you forgot?

*How did I know I was wrong when I thought I was right?

*If you cannot change your mind are you sure you have one?

*If your imaginary friend thinks your imaginary would that make you a figment of your imagination and therefore make you not exist?

*Why is it that the people who can't control their own lives are always the ones who are trying to control yours?

*If you are a complete pessimist does that mean you are positively negative?

*Have you ever wished you were what you were when you wished you were what you are now?

*What if you went there but there was no there there?

*If you became a mere shell of your former self, would you be able to hear the ocean all the time?

*Isn't everyone entitled to my opinion?

*Isn't living with a conscience a lot like driving a car with the brakes on?

*Ever wonder how many people are doing or saying the exact same thing as you are at the exact same time as you are? Right now I'm scratching my toe, what are you doing?

*Why is it that no matter what you do, there will always be someone better than you?

*Shouldn't all conversations with a potato be conducted in private?

*What if we think the joke is on them, but it's really on us?

*Isn't it true that as long as you have no expectations to anything, you can't be frustrated because you won't be disappointed?

*Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

*Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?

*Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

*Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

*If incline means to go up and decline means to go down then does cline mean to stay even?

*Just what does 'OK' stand for?

*Why isn't contest the opposite of protest?

*Why is the letter 'X' used to represent the unknown?

*Why do some advertisements say 'Free with Purchase'? If you have to purchase something then its not free is it?

*Why do they say 'New and Improved'? How can it be new if it was improved?

*If someone is telling the truth and no one believes them is it really the truth?

*Why do some restaurants have a sign by the entrance that reads Please wait for hostess to be seated? Aren't we the ones that want to sit down to eat?

*How do you expect the unexpected since it's unexpected?

*If money doesn't grow on trees why do banks have branches?

*Why don't Skittles 'taste like the rainbow'?

*Why does the term 'jerk' apply only to men?

*Isn't it redundant to say an offer is void where prohibited?

*If you cross a shamrock with poison ivy do you think you'd have a rash of good luck?

*Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

*Why do we knock on wood for good luck?

*Isn't it true that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck?

*How come life's most treasured moments always come unannounced?

*Why do we cross our fingers for good luck?

*Do true friends stab you in the front instead?

*What was the loser trying to win anyways?

*Why is it considered bad luck to walk under a ladder?

*Why do banks use all that space and money to construct so many teller stations then never have more than two or three in use?

*The Pillsbury dough boy turns 30 this year. Do we give him a cake for his birthday? Isn't that cannibalism?

*Is it true that the reason men like blonde jokes is because they can understand them?

*What is really real?

*Why do guys always have to control the remote?

*Could it be that everything we see is just a shadow cast by that which we do not see?

*Why isn't the word 'silent' made up only of silent letters?

*Do Police Dogs get free doughnuts too?

*Is it still an 'ECHO' if you don't hear it the first time?

*Is AOL so expensive because someone has to pay for those free disks?

*Why does a funeral start with fun?

*Do stairs go up or down?

*Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

*Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

*If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?

*Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

*If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

*Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

*Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to "Woman Hitler?"

*If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

*If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

*Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

*Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

*Why is a square meal served on round plates?

*Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

*Which way does a compass point in space?

*Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

*Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

*If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

*Why did Mary own a little lamb?

*If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

*Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?

*If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

*If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

*Why are Pringles curved?

*What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?

*Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

*If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?

*Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else?

*Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?

*Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

*Can bald men get lice?

*Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

*If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

*Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

*Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?

*When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

*If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?

*364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

*Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

*Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

*Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?

*Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

Friday, August 22, 2008

More to ponder

*Why is 'if' the middle word in life?

*Why is it that the things most people like best are either unethical, illegal or fattening?

*Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time?

*What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?

*Why is it that the things that should be obvious aren't obvious at all?

*How come the only thing that never changes is the spelling?

*If nothing is the opposite of everything just what is it?

*Does a Bridge go Over Water or does Water go Under a Bridge?

*Is there a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker?

*Why is nothing as easy as it looks?

*Does an existentialist map have 'You are here' written all over it?

*Can you confuse an open mind with one that is just vacant?

*Isn't it true that for every silver lining there has to be a cloud?

*Aren't all questions answerable?

*Why is it that the most important things in life aren't things?

*Is there such a thing as a rhetorical answer?

*Will there be answers after there are no more questions?

*Do you ever wonder that the things that come to those that wait may be the things left behind by those who got there first?

*If hindsight is 20/20, does that make Heinz-sight 57/57?

*How come the more things change, the more they remain the same?

*What if life is a joke and we don't get it?

*Why do we sometimes say that we are in a pickle or jam when we are in a sticky situation? Wouldn't being in peanut butter be a better comparison?

*Why do we say something's out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works?

*When someone asks us to hold something for them such as a bottle of soda why do we

subconciously try to distance ourselves from it by holding it away from ourselves?

*If we hear a burglar stumbling around our house in the dark why do we yell out 'Who's There'? Do we really expect them to yell back their name?

*When people spill anything on themselves why do they always treat it like acid?

*Why do people ask us if we are awake? Isn't 'yes' the only answer possible?

*If we hesitate can we say we are meditating horizontally?

*Why do some people have to 'shudder' to think? Does thinking make you cold?

*Why does the person who comes late to the movie always sit right in front of where you're sitting?

*Why is the runner-up in the Miss Universe pageant always so excited to miss out on ,000 in cash awards and prizes?

*Why do we ask to 'borrow' a kleenex? Has anyone ever returned a kleenex they borrowed?
Why do the longest answers always begin with 'I don't know'?

*How come when people are free to do what they want, they usually imitate one another?

*Why do people always look when you tell them not to?

*Why do intolerant people think everyone should tolerate their intolerance?

*Why do some people have such a hard time admitting they're wrong, even when it's crystal clear?

*Have you ever watched a person talking to themselves, then they spot you watching them, so they pretend they are singing? What's the difference between talking and singing to yourself?

*How come sometimes the good you do doesn't do you any good at all?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Questions that will always remain unanswered.

***How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

***Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

***If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

***Is there another word for synonym?

***Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"

***If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

***If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

***Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

***Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

***If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

***Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

***If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

***How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

***What was the best thing before sliced bread?

***If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

***Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

***If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

***Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

***Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

***Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?

***When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

***When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

***Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?

***Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

***Why do they report power outages on TV?

***What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Monday, August 11, 2008

50 Ways to be annoying in an elevator

Ways to be annoying in an elevator

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!

Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.


Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

Censored by your son.

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!

Give religious tracts to each passenger.

Meow occassionally.

 Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.

Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say Ding! at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Questions to ponder

*Given the ability to project yourself into the future, but not to return, would you do so? Would you go if you could take someone along?

*If you were to be cremated, where would you want your ashes?

*Five hundred years from now, only one book which exists today will still be available. Which book should it be?

*If a movie were made about your life, what would the theme song be?

*For 10 ,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? You could not explain your reason to anyone. (Assume that there would be no long-term effect on your career.)

*If you saw someone shoplifting in an exclusive store, what would you do?

*Have you ever been disappointed by a person you looked up to as a role model? Has a hero ever let you down?

*If you were to have a one-night stand with a current celebrity, who would you choose?

*Have you ever disliked someone for being luckier, more successful, or more attractive than you?

*Is there anything you'd willingly give your life for?

*If you could have had a child with a famous person no longer living, whom would you choose?

*Have you ever genuinely wanted to kill someone, or wished someone dead?

*If you were God for a day, what would you do?

*If you could be the parent of one famous person, who would you want it to be?

*Have you ever stayed home from work or a social event because you were having a "bad hair day"?

*How many different sexual partners have you had in your life? Would you prefer to have had more?

*Do you have a favorite sexual fantasy? Would you like to have it fulfilled?

*How many of your friendships have lasted more than 10 years?

*If you had a chance to bring one person back from the dead, who would it be and why?

*How would you react to finding out that your child was switched in the hospital with someone else's baby?

*Would your answer be different if the child you were raising was severely handicapped?

*If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think would be leading a life more satisfying than you do?

*If a crystal ball would tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know concerning yourself, life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

*If at birth you could select the profession your child would eventually pursue, would you do so?

*When you perform a difficult task successfully, do you tell people about it or keep it to yourself?

*How do you know when you're in love?                                                

*If you try to fail and suceed, what did you just do?

*Where did hamsters live before we put them in cages as a pet?

*Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet?

*Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?

*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

*Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone?

*Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?

*Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy?

*Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?

*Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

*They have a show called "Unsolved Mysteries." What other kind of mysteries are there?

*Do they make coffins wider for dead fat people or is it a 1 size fits all kind of thing?

*Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?

*If Santa lives at the North Pole... where does the Easter bunny live?

*If you accidently ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?

*Does Jell-o EVER go bad? There usually isn't an expiration date on it?

*Why do old men have hair in their ears?

*If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

*Why are buttons on guys' shirts on a different side than girls' shirts?

*If bunnies don't lay eggs why is it on Easter that we hide eggs from the Easter Bunny?

*Why are things typed up but written down?

*How come u can kill a deer and put it on your wall but its a illegal to keep them as a pet?

*Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

*In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

*If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

*If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

*What does OK actually mean?

*what does the K in K-mart actually stand for?

*Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?

*Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner?

*Why do donuts have holes?

*Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other?

*Is light still faster than sound when it's going through your TV, and if so, when you get a live broadcast from China or something shouldn't all the sounds come after the actions?

*Do the different "M&M's  colors taste different?

*If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?

*If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

*If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

*Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?

*Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

*Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?

*How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

*Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound?

*If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?

*Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?

*Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running foward?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental arnt you being judgmental yourself?

*Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?

*How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually?

*Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?

*What is a male ladybug called?

*Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?

*Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

*If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up?

*Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

*Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

*What do people in China call their good plates?

*If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?

*Does a postman deliver his own mail?

*Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe

them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?  

 *Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

*Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

*Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

*Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

*Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

*Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

*How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

*If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

*If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

*If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

*If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

*If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

*You know how most packages say "Open here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? 

*Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?                          

*Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you

transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

*Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

*Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

*If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

*If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

*Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one?

*Where can you buy the key to a lock of your hair?

*Can your eyes be called an school, because there are pupils there?

*Is the crown of your head where jewels are found?

*What crosses the bridge of your nose?

*Can you beat the drum of your ear?

*Can the crook in your elbow be sent to jail?

*How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?

*If you wanted to shingle the roof of your mouth, would you use the nails on your toes?              
*Is it possible to be totally partial?

*If the funeral procession is at night, do people drive with their headlights off?

*If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

*If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

*If corn oil comes from corn where does baby oil come from?

*How did a fool and his money get together to begin with?

*How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

*If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

*What is another word for thesaurus?

*Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

*What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

*Why is abbreviation such a long word?

*Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

*How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

*Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

*If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

*Does fuzzy logic tickle?

*Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

*Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

*Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? 

*Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges?

*If your nose runs and your feet smell, are you built upside down?

*Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

*If cops hang out at donut shops, why don't bakers hang out at police stations?

*Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

*If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?  
*How come the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?

*If we humans are made of 97 percent water why doesn't any of it spill out when we bend over?

And why don't people hit high and low tide with the phases of the moon?

*Why aren't they called bakies instead of cookies?

*Why do we call it a 2x4 when it is really 1 1/2" x 3 1/2"?

*Why do we call something that irritates us a 'pet peeve'? And if it makes us angry, why do we call it a 'pet'? Aren't pets supposed to be loved and cared for by us?

*When we want to cover over our past mistakes how do we distinguish between our mistakes and our way of living? Is there really a difference?

*Doesn't everybody only have two faults? Everything they say and everything they do?

*Why is it that when something says permanent we always mess up?

*Is it true that when sufficient people have made the same mistake long enough it becomes a rule?

*Going by the way some people find fault with every thing in life do you think there's a reward?

*Is it a Freudian slip when you say one thing but mean your mother?

*Why are all great discoveries made by mistake?

*There are many people scared of heights so why aren't there people scared of widths?

*If you thought you were wrong once, could you be mistaken?

*What part of a person's physical appearance is considered "pretty ugly"?

*Why do men have nipples?

*Do they make silencers for staple guns?

*Why do we 'dress to kill'?

*Why do we say our alarm clock goes off when it comes on?

*Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if people had tails?

*Were belly buttons made to hold salad dressing for when you eat celery in bed?

*If beauty is only skin deep, then no one is truly a beautiful person on the inside, right? So does that mean that deep down, we're all nasty people?

*Why do we call it the 'funny bone' when it hurts really bad when you bang it?

*If you have a frog in your throat, does that mean you are going to croak?

*When you're in space which way is up?

*Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?

*When they first invented the clock how did they know what time it was to set it?
A minds journey begins with a single Why? --Confucius

An unanswered question is better than an unquestioned answer.

You are encouraged to use your imagination creatively and to think.