Haha get it? Natural gas escaping.
Hardy har har :p
Where do fart gas come from?
The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.
What is fart gas made of?
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane. But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.
According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.
Composition of a fart:
Nitrogen (N2)
Oxygene (O2)
Carbon Dioxide(CO2)
Hydrogen (H2)
Methane (CH4)
Other components in less portion, but they are responsible by smell (Methyl-Indol, Skatol, Hydrogen Sulfide, Methyl-Mercaptan)
What makes farts stink?
The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.
Why do farts make noise?
The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks.
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Poems
Beans, beans, the musical fruit:
The more you eat, the more you toot!
Beans, beans, are good for your heart!
The more you eat, the more you fart!
The more you fart, the better you feel,
So let's have beans for every meal!
Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Had to shit but only farted.
Rhymes
Whoever smelt it,
Dealt it.
Whoever said the rhyme
Did the crime.
He who detected it
Ejected it!
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"I Farted"
A Message From Below
Affirmative Action
Air-o-gant Assault
Apocalypse Now
Baking Brownies (South Park)
Barked
Barking Spider
Bathtub Jacuzzi
Bench Burning
Bench Warmer
Biological Warfare
Bips
Blast
Blow-Holes
Blowing Ye Butt Trumpet
Bottom Belch
Botty Burp
Breaking Loose
Brown-Speak
Bucksnort
Butt Babble
Butt Chuckling
Butt Thunder
Chair Charring
Cheesers
Chinese Barking Spiders
Colon-Speak
Crack Splitters
Cracking a Rat
Creaky Floorboards
Cutting the Cheese
Disappointments From Down Under
Draw Mud
Dropped a Shoe
Elevator Evacuation
Fermented Revenge
Firing Scud Missiles
Flatulence
Floating an air biscuit
Fluff
Fragrantly Impaired
Framping
Gassius Assius
Gastronomically Expressive
Gravy pants
Grep
Guff
Gusty Windflap
Gut Belch
Gut Bubble
Happy Honkers
Heinee Burp
Hotties
| Inverse Sniff
Inverted Belching
Janet
K-Fart
Methane Exit
Mud Crickets
Mud Duck
My Opinion
Natural Gas
Nature's little surprises
Nature's musical box
Nuclear Farts- 40% fallout
Obnoxious Coughing
Odiferous Objection
Ooh, that's a nasty cough
Oops! I let Fluffy off the leash
Paint-Peeling Predicament
Pant Stainers
Panty Burps
Phoofs
Poots
Pull My Finger
Rancid Reaction
Rancid Rebate
Rat Bark
Revolting Release
Ripping the seat
Rosebuds
SAV (Silent And Violent)
SBD (Silent But Deadly)
Sheet Ripping
Smelly Snoring
Speak To Me ol 'Toothless One
Stepping on a Duck
Stinkies
Stinky Sneezing
The Great Brown Cloud
There Goes a Mouse on a Motorcycle
Thunder from Down Under
Tooters
Tree frog
Trouser Cough
Trouser Ghost
Trouser Rippers
Trump
Tuba Tuning
Tunnel Trumpting
Unappreciated Air
UnderThunder
Unholy Airlock
Unsun Melody
Vapid Chatting
Vulgar Vapor
Waiting to Exhale
Who dropped their guts?
Who opened their lunch box?
Woofer
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Farts can Kill
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Twitter Account Used to Broadcast Fart Details
Randy Sarafan has helped the human race hit a new ‘all-time low’ on the evolutionary scale. He has modified his office chair with technology that will detect when he emmits a gasous cloud from his anus and it ranks it on methane density. It then transmits this information through his Twitter account to all his followers (which stand at over 800 sick folks right now).
The setup is surprisingly simple and there is even an online guide so you can create your own. It involves, a natural gas sensor does the sniffing; an Arduino does the thinking; an XBee wireless module does the communicating; Twitter does the sharing. It’s a feat, to be sure.
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Farting IS funny!
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Fun Farting Toys
The H.E. Fartsalot Butt Puppet performs “Old MacDonald,” “Frere Jacques,” or “London Bridge,” when you cram your hand into his torso cavity. It is truly the “ultimate wind instrument.”
Product Page (£12.99 or $25)
Remote Control Fart Box@ Amazon
Old Fart Slippers @ Stupid
(I actually bought my dad a pair of these for his 50th Birthday)
Set of Walter The Farting Dog Book and Toy at Young Explorers
Farting Teddy @ Harriet Carter
PBC International Farting TeddyBear/With Remote
Excalibur 305 FartMaster Electronic Keychain @ Amazon
Farting Piggy Bank @ Amazon
Pull My Finger, Fart Pen @ Amazon
Fart Alert Warning Sign @ Amazon
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Links:
Fart Wiki
Flatulence Wiki
The Fart Survey
Facts on Farts Blog
I Fart, She Farts, He Farted, we are all farting! Jokes, Humor.
Hey, everyone farts!
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