Ever wanted to patent anything?

I've had a few ideas over the years that I thought could perhaps be useful to some crazy soul. Lately I've been doing some research about my ideas and came across some silly sites. Here's a few just to waste your time:

Crazy Patents! For the USPTO to issue a patent, the invention must be novel, non-obvious, and "useful." The standard for usefulness is certainly the weakest of the three -- any possible utility, no matter how small, will suffice. And, useful does not necessarily mean commercially viable. In other words, you can get a patent on some crazy things that will never make it to the shelves of your local store. For instance:
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/crazy.html
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/

View the funniest and most absurd patents and inventions ever to be submitted.
http://www.funnypatentsandinventions.com/

Totally Absurd Inventions & Patents, America's Goofiest Patents
http://totallyabsurd.com/

Have you ever wanted to patent anything or have you patented anything? You don't need to give away secrets but can post opinions and such.