Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fortune cookie sayings

Top rejected fortune cookie sayings

 "What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren't enough for you, tubby?"

"Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops."

"Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt."

"Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan."

"Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume chef's bodily fluids."

"Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application."

"Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck."

"Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup."


Alternate Fortune Cookie Extensions

 "dot com"
Example: "Among the lucky, you are the chosen one... dot com!"
Ideal Extension User: webmasters, programmers, 15-year olds
Variations: "dot org", "dot net", "dot mil", "dot edu", or any country code you'd like.

"in the Nam"
Example: "Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it... in the Nam!"
Ideal Extension User: Men with soft girlie hands, 15-year olds
Variations: "in the shit", "in the trenches

"over my dead body!"
Example: "Your future is as boundless as the lofty sky... over my dead body!"
Ideal Extension User: cranks, people either set in their ways or distrustful of anything with a Chinese background, 15-year olds
Variations: "as if!", "not!", "what the Hell?!?"

 He who hesitates is last.

Your heart is a place to draw true happiness.

How you look depends on where you go.

To open your doors to the future - open them for others.

If you don't run, you won't trip, but you may never get there.

Remember to say thank you.

Be careful of what you wish for, you may get it.

People know when you're letting them win.

Every piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit gets you closer to finding the one that does.

You are never selfish with your advice or your help.

The first step to better times is to imagine them.

Ideas are like children; there are none so wonderful as your own.

There is a true and sincere friendship between your and your friends.

There is yet time enough for you to take a different path.

 You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.

 Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life.

It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?

You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.

You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.

It is much wiser to take advice than to give it.

It takes more than good memory to have good memories.

People are attracted by your delicate features.

Many a false step is made by standing still.

You make people realize there exist other beauties in the world.

You have an unusually magentic personality.

A thrilling time is in your immediate future.

You will spend old age in comfort and material wealth .

You will be wise not to seek too much from others.

You will have a very pleasant experience.

You should be able to make money and hold on to it.

 The skills you have gathered will one day come in handy.

A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you.

You have a keen sense of humour and love a good time.

Every excess becomes a vice.

Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that way.

Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.

Keep in close touch with what your competition is doing.

You will take a chance in something in the near future.

More fortunes

Your skill will accomplish what the force of many cannot.

Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.

Every friend joys in your success.

You can always find happiness at work on Friday.

All your hard work will soon pay off.

Your blessing is no more than being safe and sound for the whole lifetime.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Do not mistake temptation for opportunity

Many ideals are becoming real.

Plan for many pleasures ahead.

The joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days.

Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.

 Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.

You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to.

There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you.

You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to.

Something you lost will soon turn up.

Decide what you want and go for it.

German proverb: No trees ever reach the sky.

Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.

Excitement and intrigue follow you closely wherever you go!

You will have gold pieces by the bushel.

A pleasant surprise is in store for you.

May life throw you a pleasant curve.

As the purse is emptied the heart is filled.

Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome.

You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.

Put the data you have uncovered to beneficial use.

Your flair for the creative takes an important place in your life.

Your artistic talents win the approval and applause of others.

Pray for what you want, but work for the things you need.

Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you.

Your great attention to detail is both a blessing and a curse.

Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.

You will witness a special ceremony.

You will step on the soil of many countries.

 Your past success will be overshadowed by your future success.

When you speak honestly and openly, others truly listen to you.

Skill comes from diligence.

Don't forget, you are always on our minds.

Your greatest fortune is the large number of friends you have.

A firm friendship will prove the foundation on your success in life.

Don't ask, don't say. Everything lies in silence.

Look for new outlets for your own creative abilities.

Don't forget to do good deeds as you accumulate wealth.

Keep your plans secret for now.

One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes.

Smiling often can make you look and feel younger.

Someone is speaking well of you.

The greatest danger could be your stupidity.

The one you love is closer than you think.

The time is right to make new friends.

You are talented in many ways.

You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to.

You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.

Consolidate rather than expand business projects in the near future.

Delay is the antidote for anger.

Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.

Get ready! Good fortune comes in bunches.

Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner.

Happy news is on its way to you.

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.

Honesty and integrity are just some of your best attributes.

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.

A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection.

Your money worries are over! Your new job will bring you a huge increase in income.

You are talented in many ways.

You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.

A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. Ouch!!!

Be prepared to accept a wondrous opportunity in the days ahead!

Fame, riches and romance are yours for the asking.

Good luck is the result of good planning.

Good things are being said about you.

Your life will be happy and peaceful.

A friend is a present you give yourself.

A good time to finish up old tasks.

A member of your family will soon do something that will make you proud.

A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day.

A single kind word will keep one warm for years.
Anger begins with folly, and ends with regret.

Any rough times are behind you.

Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise and balance.

If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted.

Let there be magic in you smile and firmness in your handshake.

Love is the only medicine for a broken heart.

Nature, time and patience are the three best physicians.

Never be dumb, eat smart.

None of the secrets of success will work unless you do.

Our first and last self love.

Stiff on opinions, always in the wrong.

Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause.

The beginning of wisdom is to desire it.

The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected.

Ignore all previous fortunes. Muhahaha!

Have you ever realized how funny some fortunes can be if you add "in bed" at the end?

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