The Hormone Hostage

Hormone Hostage knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

 DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

 DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

 Also:
 13 Things PMS Stands For:
 1. Pass My Shotgun
 2. Psychotic Mood Shift
 3. Perpetual Munching Spree
 4. Puffy Mid-Section
 5. People Make me Sick
 6. Provide Me with Sweets
 7. Pardon My Sobbing
 8. Pimples May Surface
 9. Pass My Sweat pants
 10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
 11. Plainly; Men Suck
 12. Pack My Stuff........
       
       And my favorite one...
 13. Potential Murder Suspect

 Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might
 need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money
 talks...but chocolate sings.

  Another thing to giggle about...
 My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.