Things Your Pizza Delivery Guy Won't Tell You
My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Remember: It's a pizza, not a lifetime commitment.
We know when kids are prank-calling us. They can't mask their voices very well. The smart ones block the phone number. The dumb ones don't.
If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I'll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right.
Patience, please. It takes about 20 minutes to go from raw dough to fully baked pizza. And then I have to drive to your house
In some neighborhoods, a kid getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, "Rob me! I have cash!" That's why we won't deliver to some neighborhoods.
When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it's not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions.
When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It's basic etiquette.
I'd prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).
Tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order. If you order a lot of pizza—say, hundreds of dollars' worth, for a party or something—but give me a $1 tip, well, I'm going to have a problem with that.
The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet. The best tips actually come from middle- and lower-class people who know what we go through.
I remember every customer who doesn't tip. I won't do anything to jeopardize my job, but shaking the soda on the next delivery would not be out of the question.
I'll knock on your door three times and call you on the phone twice. If you don't answer, don't call later to complain that you didn't get your food. I can't wait forever.
A guy once ordered pizza from me just so he'd have some help moving his sofa up a flight of stairs. I agreed to help him. He gave me a few extra bucks. I took it.
Telling me your address is just the first step. Making sure the number is on your house or mailbox is kind of important too.
We have some fantastic customers and some who are just terrible. But I'll deliver to them all—this is what I do.
Many delivery drivers are teenage boys, and most parents don't like their teenage boys driving around at night in downpours or blizzards. Yet these same people have no qualms about having other teenage kids deliver their pizza in these conditions.
There are always "special customers," like the little old lady who wants to pay her bill with a $5 check. I’ll take it because none of us want to be mean to a grandmother. But if she hasn't ordered from us before, I won’t take it.
We act like we really want to have a conversation with you at your door, but we don't, unless we know you. Basically, we just want to get the delivery over with.
I can reel off the addresses of all the customers who don't tip. (Yes, we remember!) I also know all the good tippers and will treat them and their food accordingly.
I will try to be as nice to you as possible. But if you complain that I'm late, or if you have a problem with your order, I won’t be so nice.
The majority of our employees work 12-14 hours a day. At the end of the day, we just want to go home. So please don't call for a delivery at closing time and then complain that we can't accommodate you.
At our shop, we use our own cars to deliver pizza. Last week one of our guys smashed his car into a pole on an icy road. Now he's using a rental car.
I'm one of the easiest people to get along with. But if you're rude to me, I have no problem going toe-to-toe with you.
Don't jump in the shower right after you order pizza and then not the answer the door. I can't wait much longer than a few minutes.
If you live across the street, please don’t call for a delivery. Get off your rear end and pick up the pizza yourself.
I probably break a speeding law once a day.
After I leave this job, I'm sure I won’t be able to eat pizza for at least a year.
The majority of customers who stand there chatting about the weather are just trying to make up for not giving us tips.
You ordered the pizza. You know how much it costs. Please have your money (and tip) ready when you answer the door.
I don't have the authority to give you a discount. Really, I don't. I'm just the delivery guy.
Sources: Anonymous pizza delivery people in New York, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania.
From Reader's Digest - April 2009
Did You Know?...
Pizza Facts:
* The people of America eat around 350 slices of pizza each second, or 100 acres per day.
* Each year, pizza is a $30 billion industry.
* In the U.S., there are about 61,269 pizza parlors.
* Everyone in the United States eats about 23 lbs., or 46 slices, every year.
* Each year in the United States, 3 billion pizzas are sold.
* In America, the most popular ethnic food is Italian.
* Children ages 3-11 prefer pizza over all other foods for lunch and dinner, according to a recent Gallup Poll.
* 36 percent of all pizza orders want their pizza topping pepperoni.
* We consume around 251,770,000 pounds of pepperonis every year.
* A few popular pizzas toppings are: Mushrooms, Extra cheese, Sausage, Green Pepper, and Onion.
* In the list of most popular pizza toppings in America, the last one is anchovies.
* New gourmet pizza toppings have rapidly became popular. Some of those toppings include: Chicken, Oysters, Crayfish, Dandelions, Sprouts, Eggplant, Cajun Shrimp, Artichoke Hearts, Venison, Duck, Canadian-Style Bacon and Tuna.
* Pizza Facts Practically every kind of pizza topping has been tried by pizza chefs, some of those toppings being peanut butter and jelly, bacon and eggs, and mashed potatoes.
* Americans prefer meat toppings to veggie toppings by a ratio of 62 to 100. Women order twice as much vegetable toppings than men.
* Some popular pizza toppings in Japan are squid and Mayo Jaga (mayonaise, potato and bacon).
* In India they like pickled ginger, minced mutton and tofu. The people of Brazil prefer green peas for their topping. Russians serve pizza covered in mockba (a mix of sardines, tuna, mackeral, salmon and onions.)
General Sales and Consumption Statistics: Pizza Facts
* There are approximately 61,269 pizzerias in the United States. (Source: American Business Lists, Omaha, Nebraska)
* Men wearing muscle shirts when answering the door order pepperoni three times more than any other kind of pizza. (San Jose Mercury News, Food Section, 1/11/95 )
* Italian food ranks as the most popular ethnic food in America. (National Restaurant Association)
* There are over 9,000 pizzeria's in New York alone. (The Tony Modica Pizza Dance Foundation)
* 94% of the population of the U.S. eats pizza. (Source: Parade Magazine)
* Approximately 3 BILLION pizzas are sold in the U.S. each year...pizza fact.
* Americans eat approximately 100 acres of pizza EACH DAY, or about 350 slices per second.
* October is National Pizza Month. It was first so designated in 1987.
* Pizzerias represent 17% of all restaurants. (Source: Food Industry News)
* 93% of Americans eat AT LEAST one pizza per month. (Source: Bolla Wines)
* Each man, woman and child in America eats and average of 46 slices, (23 pounds), of pizza per year. (Source: Packaged Facts, New York)
* Saturday night is the biggest night of the week for eating pizza.
* Three of the top 10 weeks of pizza consumption occur in January. Another pizza fact: More pizza is consumed during Super Bowl week than any other week of the year. (Source: Kraft Foods, Northfield, Ill.)
U.S. Toppings: Pizza Facts
* Pepperoni is America's favorite topping, (36% of all pizza orders). We eat approximately 251,770,000 pounds of Pepperoni per year. Other popular pizza toppings are, mushrooms, extra cheese, sausage, green pepper and onions.
* Gourmet toppings are gaining ground in some areas of the country such as chicken, oysters, crayfish, dandelions, sprouts, eggplant, Cajun shrimp, artichoke hearts and tuna. More recent trends include game meats such as venison, duck and Canadian bacon.
* Pizza makers have tried virtually every type of topping on pizza including peanut butter & jelly, bacon & eggs, and mashed potatoes.
* Mozzarella cheese represents 30% of total cheese output. Production of Italian cheeses such as mozzarella, provolone, ricotta, parmesan and romano by U.S. cheese makers more than doubled between 1980 and 1992, (from 688.6 MILLION pounds per year to nearly 2 BILLION pounds per year. (Source: Cheese Market News)
* Cheesy pizza fact: Manufacturers' sales of pizza cheese should top $32 BILLION by 2004. U.S. per capita consumption of mozzarella cheese was 7.93 pounds in 1994 and is predicted to reach 12.51 pounds by 2004. (Source: Business Trend Analysts, BTA)
* 62% of Americans prefer meat toppings on their pizza, while 38% prefer vegetarian toppings. (Source: Bolla Wines)
* Barbeque pizza emerged as one of the more popular pizza variations in a 1994 study by the National Restaurant Association. Nearly 33% of menus offered some form of this dish. Other popular variations were Mexican pizza, five-cheese combos, cheeseless pies and traditional Italian pizzas such as Margherita, Florentine and New Potato Pizzas. (Source: NRA)
* Anchovies are Americans' least favorite topping.
World-Wide Toppings: Pizza Facts
* Some of the more popular international toppings are pickled ginger, minced mutton and tofu in India; squid and Mayo Jaga (mayonnaise, potato and bacon) in Japan; and green peas in Brazil. In Russia, they serve pizza covered with mockba; a combination of sardines, tuna, mackerel, salmon and onions. In France, a popular combo is called the Flambee with bacon, onion, and fresh cream. (Source: Domino's)
* Around the world, toppings vary greatly, reflecting regional tastes and preferences. In Japan, for instance, eel and squid are favorites. In Pakistan, curry is a big seller. In Russia, red herring is the topping of choice. Australians enjoy shrimp and pineapple as well as barbeque toppings on their pies. Costa Ricans favor coconut. (Source: Numero Uno Pizzeria)
* Vegetables for pizza toppings in Iceland are grown in greenhouses because of the lava terrain there. (Source: Domino's)
* In the Netherlands, the "Double Dutch" is a favorite pizza recipe: double cheese, double onions, and double beef. (Source: Domino's)
* In Saudi Arabia, all meat toppings must be 100% beef. Pork products are not consumed in the country. (Source: Domino's.)
More:
Waiters and pizza delivery drivers make about $2 to $5 an hour, plus tips.
On an average night, a driver travels 75 to 100 miles on deliveries, averaging four solid hours of drive-time mostly on residential streets. That amounts to 25,000 miles in one year!
A Dominoes pizza delivery man recently formed the nation's first pizza delivery drivers' union
Happy 4/20 BTW ;)
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