Today's Economics & Top Reasons for Being American

Today's Economics (Email Forward from my mother)

If  you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received about $214!

Based on the above, the best current investment play is to drink heavily and recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. This means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes you proud to be an American!

Top 10 Reasons for Being American (To lessen the blow, hah right!) 

1. You can have a woman president without electing her.

2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it.

3. You can call Budweiser beer.

4. You can be a crook and still be president.

5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.

6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.

7. You get to be really obese.

8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".

10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. 

 (But we do!!!)