Funny warning labels

More funny or just plain dumb warning labels:

Liquid Plummer:
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex:
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger:
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter:
Safe to use around pets.

Bowl Fresh:
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster:
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil:
Keep out of reach of children.

Little Ones Baby Lotion:
Keep away from children.

Hair Coloring:
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap:
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Stridex Foaming Face Wash:
May contain foam.

Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a shower.

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant:
Use only on underarms.

Zantac 75:
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Sleeping Pills:
Warning: May cause Drowsiness.

Christmas Lights:
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Bic Lighter:
Ignite lighter away from face.

Komatsu Floodlight:
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable.

Earplugs:
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe.

Mattress:
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.

Matches:
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray:
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor:
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat:
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Rain Gauge:
Suitable for outdoor use.

RCA Television Remote Control:
Not Dishwasher Safe.

Pine Mountain Fire Logs:
Caution: Risk of fire.

Triops Fish Food:
Warning: Not for human consumption.

Home Depot Treated Lumber:
Do not consume.

Hair Dryer:
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

Road Sign:
Caution water on road during rain.

Camera:
This camera will only work when film is inside.

Church Parking Lot Sign:
Thou shalt not park.

Children's Superman Costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Silk Soy Milk:
Shake well and buy often.

Air Conditioner:
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Rowenta Iron:
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

Slush Puppy Cup:
This ice may be cold.

American Airlines Peanuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Nabisco Easy Cheese:
For best results, remove cap.

Swanson TV Dinners:
This product must be cooked before eating.

Hershey's Almond Bar:
Warning: May contain traces of nuts.

Heinz Ketchup:
Instructions: Put on food

500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.

Beach Ball:
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.

Chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado

Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.

Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

Bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

Curling Iron:
Warning: This product can burn eyes.

Hair Dryer:
Do not use in shower.

Hair Dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

Hand-held Massaging Device:
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket:
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.

A toilet at a public sports facility:
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.

Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Container of Underarm Deodorant:
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.

Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter:
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.

Toner cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow:
Not intended for highway use.

Can of self-defense pepper spray:.
May irritate eyes.

Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock":
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.

A frisbee:
Warning: May contain small parts.

A toilet bowl cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.

A birthday card for a 1 year old:
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.

Heated seat cushion:
Warning: Do not use on eyes.

Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.

Electric Cattle Prod:
For use on animals only.

Can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.

Silly Putty:
Do not use as ear plugs.

Knife sharpening stone:
Warning: knives are sharp!

Deodorant:
Do not use intimately.

Rat Poison:
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

Portable stroller:
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.

Dashboard of a mail truck:
Look before driving.

Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

Sign at a railroad station:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

Bottom of a supermarket dessert box:
Do not turn upside down.

Package of dice:
Not for human consumption.

Bottled Drink:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.

Shipment of hammers:
May be harmful if swallowed.

Manual for an SGI computer:
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle:
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.

Electric Thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.

Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain:
Turn off motor before using this product.

6x10 inch inflatable picture frame:
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.

Box of bottle rockets:
Do not put in mouth.

Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.

Box for a car jack:
For lifting purposes only.

Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean:
Do not drive cars in ocean.

Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert:
Always drive on roads. Not on people.

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Credit card statement:
Payment is due by the due date.

Laundromat triple washer:
No small children.

Box of Pills:
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.

Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

Can of black pepper:
Instructions: usage known.

Bag of cat biscuits:
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.

Car Manual:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

Espresso Kettle:
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.

T.V. manual:
Do not pour liquids into your television set.

Label on a hammer:
Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object

VCR box:
Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.

Toilet brush:
Do not use for personal hygiene.

Black rubber fishing worm:
Not for human consumption.

Orange Juice Can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.

Depend Adult Diapers:
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.

Furniture Wipes:
Do not use for a baby wipe.

Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet:
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.

Lawnmower:
Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning

Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza:
Do not turn upside down.

Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle:
Do not open here.

Bottle of bathtub cleaner:
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

Container of lighter fluid:
WARNING: Contents flammable!

Box of household nails:
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it:
Direction #1: Remove plastic.

Drink bottle label:
Do not peel label off.

Woolite carpet cleaner:
Safe for carpets, too!

Box of Frosted Cheerio's:
The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."

Sterno:
Do not use near fire or flame.

Container of salt:
Warning: High in sodium

Hose Nozzle:
Do not spray into electrical outlet.