- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
Suspicious Statements beneath the Headlines: From the Mailbox of Dave Berry
- David Davidson sent an article from the Tybee News containing this statement about the mayor of Tybee Island, Ga.: "He also said an older woman suffered a broken hip when a dog pounced on her and read a long letter from someone supporting the dog ban."
- Tim O'Marra sent in an article from the Skagit Valley (Washington) Herald containing this sentence: "Suspecting the action was suspicious, the officer ordered both of them to raise their hands."
- Chaz Liebowitz sent in an article from The Miami Herald that begins: "Davie police are searching for a man with a .25-caliber semi-automatic handgun to rob a convenience store Wednesday."
- Several readers sent in an article from the Richmond Times-Dispatch concerning a dump-truck driver who "dropped more than 59,000 pounds of processed human excrement on Interstate 295" and was charged with "failure to contain his load."
- Sue Colson sent in a "Police Blotter" item from the Port Aransas (Texas) South Jetty, consisting entirely of this fascinating statement: "No goat was found in the trunk of a vehicle when an officer responded to a complaint on East Avenue G at about 1:20 p.m."
Dr. Beard's Collection from the Columbia School of Journalism
- 5th-Graders Get to Grill Lions (Detroit Free Press, Friday Jan 27, 2006)
- Autos killing 110 a Day; Let's Resolve to do Better
- Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad she Hasn't Seen in Years
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
- Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
- Dealers will Hear Car Talk at Noon
- Dr. Ruth to Talk about Sex with Newspaper Editors
- Drunk Drivers Paid $1,000 in 1984
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Farmer Bill Dies in House
- Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
- If Strike isn't Settled Quickly it May Last a While
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
- Kicking Baby Considered To Be Healthy
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
- Reagan Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead
- Robber Holds Up Albert's Hosiery
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should be Belted
- Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
- Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
- Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
- Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter
- Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- William Kelly was Fed Secretary
LoL wtf?
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