A few rules for a happy life

Do not try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

The trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. (This is a modern adaptation of a quote by Oscar Wilde: "Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more."
Additionally an often-misquoted passage from the Bible, Proverbs chapter 25, verses 21-22 suggests a similar notion: "If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee."

Don't corner something meaner than you.

Don't wrestle with pigs: you'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it. (Based on a quote attributed to Cyrus S Ching, 1876-1967, US industrialist and labour-relations pioneer, "I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.")

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens. (Probably based on an original quote attributed to Leo Buscaglia: Ninety per-cent of what we worry about never happens, yet we worry and worry. What a horrible way to go through life! What a horrible thing to do to your colon!" )