Thursday, September 24, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sexual odds

Here is the latest cache of sex odds, courtesy of the Book of Odds:

1. The odds a woman has had sex on a first date are 1 in 6.06
In many cultures, the ability to glean if a woman is among that 17 percent before asking her on a first date is considered a superpower.

2. The odds a man has ever paid for or been paid for sex are 1 in 6.64
We like the way this is presented: It makes us feel like our dream of a lovely lady paying us for sex isn't as absurd as society has led us to believe.

3. The odds the most recent sexual encounter of a man between 18-59 years old lasted less than one minute are 1 in 9.09.
What's the deal, sub-minute men? If focusing on baseball is too antiquated, why don't you try thinking about viral videos of dudes getting kicked in the balls?

4. The odds a male between 15-44 years old has ever had anal sex with a female are 1 in 2.94
The odds a male has ever unsuccessfully tried to trade attendance at the far-flung wedding of his girlfriend's sorority sister for anal sex are about 2 in 3.

5. The odds a male 15-44 years old has ever had any sexual contact with a male are 1 in 16.67
It depends on what counts as sexual contact, as we've seen some incredibly intense bro-hugs in our day.

6. The odds a married man has ever had an extramarital sexual partner are 1 in 4.13
Of course, those odds are considerably higher if you happen to be the number one golfer in the world.

7. The odds a male between 15-44 years old used a condom during his last sexual encounter are 1 in 2.53
These are also just about the odds of a used condom getting a male into some sort of trouble over his lifetime.

8. The odds a male between 15-44 has had 15 or more female sexual partners in his lifetime are 1 in 4.42
The odds a male between 15-44 has ever lied about sex are not dissimilar to those of the sun rising in the East.

9. The odds a male 15-44 has had no female sexual partners in his lifetime are 1 in 10.31
Hey, sometimes a guy's cherished action-figure collection is just too much to give up.

10. The odds a man 15-44 will visit a pornographic Web site at least once in a month are 1 in 3.31
Which means fewer than two-thirds of men between the ages of 15-44 haven't visited a pornographic Web site at least once in the past month. Whaaaa? It sort of calls into question the accuracy of all these odds. Especially in light of this.

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Sexual partners odds:

A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report (PDF) found that the odds a male 15 - 44 has had 15 or more female sexual partners in his lifetime are 1 in 4.42, while the odds a female in the same age group has had that many male sexual partners are only 1 in 10.87. Towards the lower end of the scale, the differences are much less dramatic: 1 in 3.64 men have had 3 - 6 female sexual partners, while 1 in 3.07 females have had 3 - 6 male partners. (The study did not include equivalent data on same-sex partners.)

Understandably, investigators are concerned about the truthfulness of the answers they get about this private, emotion-laden subject. Compounding the difficulty, the method used to collect data—in-person interviews, phone interviews, written or web surveys, or other means—may have a distorting effect on what people say about themselves. A University of Michigan survey asked people how many sexual partners they’d had, and later in the very same survey some respondents, both men and women, confessed to having just lied about it.

Have you ever lied about how many sexual partners you've had?

Which sex likes sex the most?

1 in 2.33 (43%) of U.S. men think about sex at least once a day and when they get it, they like it -- 1 in 1.2 U.S. men (or 83%) report enjoying that hair-mussing, headboard-banging activity a great deal. Yet a much smaller proportion of women feel the same. Only 1 in 7.69 (or just 13%) of U.S. women think about sex on a daily basis, and only 1 in 1.69(60%) really enjoys herself when she gets it. In fact, the odds a woman in the U.S. doesn’t enjoy sex at all are 1 in 14.29 (7%) compared to only 1 in 50 (2%) men who reports the same.

Does marriage kill sex drive?

Adults who responded to a 2004 poll by ABC reported that the quality of their sex lives does correlate negatively with the length of time they’ve been married. The odds they have sex at least several times a week worsen from 1 in 1.39 (72%) if they’ve been married for less than three years to 1 in 3.13 (32%) if they’ve been married for ten or more years. The odds they actually enjoy the sex they’re having a great deal worsen from 1 in 1.15 (87%) to 1 in 1.43 (70%) for the same range, and the odds that their sex life is something they’d call “very exciting” decrease from 1 in 1.72 (58%) to 1 in 3.45 (29%). There is some extrapolation in these assumptions—an expectation that those who report low sex rates are expressing low sex satisfaction as well. The responses, however, may alternatively reflect an equal tapering-off of sex drives or already-low libidos for both partners.

For more information check out this website. Its pretty neat!

Book of Odds

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Slideshow: T- Shirts

Funny, interesting, absurd, rude etc etc etc shirts!

Buy a shirt through my link!

http://tshirthell.com/store/clicks.php?partner=pondering224

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Surprising Causes of Gas

Surprising foods that cause gas.

Bananas

Along with being a potassium powerhouse, they also contain gas-inducing fructose and soluble fiber.

Oranges

They may be a popular choice during cold and flu season since just one contains a full day's supply of vitamin C, but when bacteria in the intestine break down the fructose and soluble fiber in them, gas is released.

Pears

Talk about prickly -- pears are loaded with sorbitol, a sugar found naturally in some fruits (including prunes) that can ferment in the intestine and cause gas

Green Peppers

Raffinose, the carbohydrate in green peppers, gives gas a green light. Skip them on pizza and fajitas to help curb gassy symptoms like abdominal pain and bloating, belching and flatus.

Potatoes

Along with cabbage and brussels sprouts, potatoes contain raffinose, a carbohydrate that can be difficult for the intestine to break down. Sweet potatoes are high in fructose, which can also contribute to intestinal gas.

Wine

It's not just beer (especially the darkest brews) that can leave you feeling bloated: Wine contains fructose, a sugar naturally found in grapes, that can cause gas as your intestines tries to digest it.

Fruit Juice

Many fruit juices (chiefly apple, cherry, peach and pear) contain sorbitol, a nondigestible form of sugar, and some contain carbonation, both of which can lead to gas or bloating.

Candy

Many hard candies contain sorbitol, a sugar commonly added to improve softness, taste and texture. It's also a natural laxative.

Artificial Sweeteners

Sugar substitutes may have fewer calories, but many contain sorbitol, which has been found to cause intestinal problems and contribute to gas.

Story

Beans and dairy are the obvious suspects when it comes to foods that give you gas. But many other healthy foods can leave you feeling bloated and gassy, too.

The trick is finding which particular ones are problems for you, says Carla H. Ginsburg, M.D., assistant clinical professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, gastroenterologist at Newton-Wellesley Hospital in Newton, MA, and spokesperson for the American Gastroenterological Association. “After you’ve identified the particular food, try to limit the amount you consume or avoid it if you can,” she says.

Diet is the major culprit when it comes to intestinal gas -- when foods containing soluble fiber and/or certain sugars such as lactose, fructose, sorbitol or raffinose reach the intestine, bacteria there breaks down those substances and gas is released, says Ginsburg.

In addition to altering what you eat, you can also reduce gas by chewing foods slowly, eating smaller meals, taking a walk -- rather than a nap -- after eating, steering clear of chewing gum, avoiding talking while eating, and skipping chocolate or mints, which can relax the lower esophageal sphincter and contribute to belching, says Ginsburg. For excessive flatulence, try an over the counter treatment formulated to aid in digesting food (sugar) and help break up gas bubbles.

Finally, if you’re not able to alleviate your symptoms by changing your diet or taking an over-the-counter medication, or if you feel excessive gas is interfering with your normal lifestyle, seek medical advice. Persistent pelvic bloating or an uncomfortable lower abdominal sensation could be a sign of ovarian cancer, says Ginsberg. Continuous symptoms could also be a sign of lactose intolerance, infection, delayed gastric emptying, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation or other conditions. “While none of these [latter] conditions are life threatening, they can be treated,” she says.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Natural Gas

While I was on the subject of Poo, I couldnt let the subject of "Natural Gas" escape me.
Haha get it? Natural gas escaping.
Hardy har har :p

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Where do fart gas come from?

The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.

What is fart gas made of?
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.

Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane. But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.

The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.

A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.

According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.

Composition of a fart:

Nitrogen (N2)
Oxygene (O2)
Carbon Dioxide(CO2)
Hydrogen (H2)
Methane (CH4)
Other components in less portion, but they are responsible by smell (Methyl-Indol, Skatol, Hydrogen Sulfide, Methyl-Mercaptan)

What makes farts stink?

The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

Why do farts make noise?

The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus. Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks.

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Poems
Beans, beans, the musical fruit:
The more you eat, the more you toot!

Beans, beans, are good for your heart!
The more you eat, the more you fart!
The more you fart, the better you feel,
So let's have beans for every meal!

Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Had to shit but only farted.

Rhymes

Whoever smelt it,
Dealt it.

Whoever said the rhyme
Did the crime.

He who detected it
Ejected it!
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Let me count the ways...The English language seems to have been created for the purpose of confusing us; Sometimes, there are simply too many ways to say the same thing. In order to help you navigate your world a little better, we've searched high and low for alternate names and phrases for farting. We don't want you to be embarrassed by a narrow vocabulary, so in the interest of education, we humbly present to you all of the known ways you can say,

"I Farted"

A Message From Below
Affirmative Action
Air-o-gant Assault
Apocalypse Now
Baking Brownies (South Park)
Barked
Barking Spider
Bathtub Jacuzzi
Bench Burning
Bench Warmer
Biological Warfare
Bips
Blast
Blow-Holes
Blowing Ye Butt Trumpet
Bottom Belch
Botty Burp
Breaking Loose
Brown-Speak
Bucksnort
Butt Babble
Butt Chuckling
Butt Thunder
Chair Charring
Cheesers
Chinese Barking Spiders
Colon-Speak
Crack Splitters
Cracking a Rat
Creaky Floorboards
Cutting the Cheese
Disappointments From Down Under
Draw Mud
Dropped a Shoe
Elevator Evacuation
Fermented Revenge
Firing Scud Missiles
Flatulence
Floating an air biscuit
Fluff
Fragrantly Impaired 
Framping
Gassius Assius
Gastronomically Expressive
Gravy pants
Grep
Guff
Gusty Windflap
Gut Belch
Gut Bubble
Happy Honkers
Heinee Burp
Hotties

Inverse Sniff
Inverted Belching
Janet
K-Fart
Methane Exit
Mud Crickets
Mud Duck
My Opinion
Natural Gas
Nature's little surprises
Nature's musical box
Nuclear Farts- 40% fallout
Obnoxious Coughing
Odiferous Objection
Ooh, that's a nasty cough
Oops! I let Fluffy off the leash
Paint-Peeling Predicament
Pant Stainers
Panty Burps
Phoofs
Poots
Pull My Finger
Rancid Reaction
Rancid Rebate
Rat Bark
Revolting Release
Ripping the seat
Rosebuds
SAV (Silent And Violent)
SBD (Silent But Deadly)
Sheet Ripping
Smelly Snoring
Speak To Me ol 'Toothless One
Stepping on a Duck
Stinkies
Stinky Sneezing
The Great Brown Cloud
There Goes a Mouse on a Motorcycle
Thunder from Down Under
Tooters
Tree frog
Trouser Cough
Trouser Ghost
Trouser Rippers
Trump
Tuba Tuning
Tunnel Trumpting
Unappreciated Air
UnderThunder
Unholy Airlock
Unsun Melody
Vapid Chatting
Vulgar Vapor
Waiting to Exhale
Who dropped their guts?
Who opened their lunch box?
Woofer

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Farts can Kill

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Twitter Account Used to Broadcast Fart Details

Randy Sarafan has helped the human race hit a new ‘all-time low’ on the evolutionary scale. He has modified his office chair with technology that will detect when he emmits a gasous cloud from his anus and it ranks it on methane density. It then transmits this information through his Twitter account to all his followers (which stand at over 800 sick folks right now).

The setup is surprisingly simple and there is even an online guide so you can create your own. It involves, a natural gas sensor does the sniffing; an Arduino does the thinking; an XBee wireless module does the communicating; Twitter does the sharing. It’s a feat, to be sure.
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Farting IS funny!

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Fun Farting Toys

The H.E. Fartsalot Butt Puppet performs “Old MacDonald,” “Frere Jacques,” or “London Bridge,” when you cram your hand into his torso cavity. It is truly the “ultimate wind instrument.”
Product Page (£12.99 or $25)

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